Life is a journey not a destination

Published on 10 September 2022 at 17:33

I had goals, hobbies, dreams, and a life that I planned to live. All of a sudden everything as I knew it tumbled down on me.  I couldn't pick myself back up.  I had no idea where to begin. I longed for my dreams.  I knew there were children with special needs, but I had no idea what that meant for their families until I became that mother. Who would have thought? I was completely caught off guard and I didn't know how to function beyond it. I wasn't ready.  

 I will first start by telling you I was not strong. This abrupt change left me feeling weak and clueless. I was lost.  It was not only the process of abandoning my PLAN, but also of learning how to work with a child who had different needs than the others. I had to learn that not every child can be parented in the same way. I had to learn to become strong again. I had to learn about my child. I had to learn to become a team player with my husband all over again because these eggshells left us feeling depleted with no answers and so many things to disagree on. 

We all grow up thinking and planning what we are going to be, where we would live, and so on. We set goals and start planning. After school, we begin to push our way to achieve them. We are taught to build goals, achieve them, and create our success. "We can do this". This is the beginning of failure, self-blame, and shame and it starts at a young age. However, if we reprogram our way of thinking, knowing that not everything goes as we planned, then we can begin learning to adapt. 

Our success is the foundation upon which we are built throughout our childhood. Sometimes we simply have to take new paths. And even if it was not our intended path or dream, it can still be beautiful. We simply need to take a step back and rebuild our goals based on where we are in life, and then start again. This part may take a little time. For me, I mourned the loss of time, my child, my future dreams, and my small lakeside house in a quiet northern location, among other things. This is where the mind space I mentioned earlier will help us process as we move forward. It does not imply that we failed or gave up. "Life is a journey, not a destination." It was not until I was able to accept and fully appreciate these life changes that I could begin to rebuild our future with success. I am not where I expected to be, but I would not be who I am today without my journey. There is hope for change.