THE KEY TO RESILIENCE

So, how do you begin the recovery process? You start by becoming a priority. It will not be easy. Give yourself a time frame from week to week to work on your mind space. Begin to tell yourself that you matter, because you do! Essentially, you live, eat, talk, and breathe parenting and the daily struggles. The first step is to acknowledge that you have self-worth and deserve it. The most difficult step for me was making myself a priority. For so long, all I have known was eggshells and survival. That was all I could remember. Baby steps eventually turn into HUGE leaps forward. Every recovery takes time; nothing happens overnight. If it were that simple, we would all be holding magic potions to heal our children. Here is the secret.  Change must begin with us; only then will we be able to work with our children in the most effective manner possible. You have a strong-willed child, and working with them requires mental strength.  You are currently stuck in survival mode. 

I had goals, hobbies, dreams, and a life that I planned to live. All of a sudden everything as I knew it tumbled down on me.  I couldn't pick myself back up.  I had no idea where to begin. I longed for my dreams.  I knew there were children with special needs, but I had no idea what that meant for their families until I became that mother. Who would have thought? I was completely caught off guard and I didn't know how to function beyond it. I wasn't ready.  

A very special person in my life changed my perspective on mental health.  I got a bandana that read, "She believed she could, but she needed a break, so she said no."  After rediscovering the parts of myself that I had lost while living in survival mode, I realized that I had evolved into a person who felt compelled to take care of everything.  When I first started parenting in a constant state, I quickly became accustomed to a pattern of taking care of everything and everyone, which I thought was easier. I did not know how to ask for help, so I unintentionally became the fixer and go-to. I felt as if I was carrying the weight of the world for everyone.  I was everyone's go-to friend, but I could not bring myself to ask for help. Nobody understood my life, so telling them I was drowning was a waste of breath.  I had no idea how to prioritize what was important to me, and I felt strung out everywhere, trying to live my life as if I were a superhero but failing to save myself. 

Are you a caregiver who is constantly exhausted from caring for a loved one while also balancing life, home, and family responsibilities? Do you ever look at your day and feel like you do not have enough time, but you have accomplished nothing? Are you experiencing burnout? Self-care is critical to mental health, but as caregivers, we often neglect ourselves. If you feel like you are stuck in a never-ending cycle, this is where you can start with self-care. It is up to you to choose yourself today. You deserve it. Today, I would like you to practice a mindfulness skill: breath as anchor.   Caring for children with mental health or neurodiverse conditions can be an emotional roller coaster. Knowing how to use readily available mindfulness tools is extremely beneficial.   Our breath is the tool! Today, try increasing your awareness of the quality of your breath. Allow yourself a few moments today to notice your breath before each meal and snack. Practicing paying attention to your breath will provide you with something to fall back on when you need to ground yourself. You deserve that space.